do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
