you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I FOUND THE LEGS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
True strength comes from lack of pants
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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