we made out on top of his cat.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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