I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
