I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
