So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
