I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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