If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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