I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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