why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
