found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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