just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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