i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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