Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
