we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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