You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.