We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.