Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
