So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
