i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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