I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I cut my penus on the lid.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
