Jerry, you need to find god
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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