I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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