Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
