Yo dont text me then not text me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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