Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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