you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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