Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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