I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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