i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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