awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
