Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
