I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
