Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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