you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
