Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
