I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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