So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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