What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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