Kiss
Puke
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
