he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
