I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Im part way to drunk.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
