i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
