p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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