just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
