smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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