Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
