I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
