oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize