morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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