garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
