Who did Billy Mays play for?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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