I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
